[ Zombie! ]
I've been quiet for most of the month, as if something supernatural took over. I was pretty much a zombie, not really participating in events and activities I would usually go to, not really interacting with my surroundings in my typical warm and engaging self. In a lot of ways, my eyes were filmed over and my body had succumbed to a mobile yet catatonic state. In other words, I holed myself up and kept away from the outside world these past few weeks. I hear a lot of artists and introspective people tend to go through this phase from time to time. It was my time. I felt the need to step back and really take a break from everything that overwhelmed me so that I could process it all. There may have been signs I should have heeded, slight subtleties I observed in myself and my reactions to my surroundings, yet I avoided them, and there I was, suddenly incapable of my normal capacity for "productivity".
During this time, I sought activities that were more considered as time fillers, just to ease my mind that I was doing something, anything, while my mind sorted out the puzzle of the unbearable road block it had all of a sudden encountered. There was a lot of inward searching: journal writing, doodling, crocheting to hours of silence. I even finished reading a novel, Brains: A Zombie Memoir. I can safely say that it has been well over a decade that I've read a book from cover to cover for pure entertainment. I then noticed, all of the things I was attracted to during this time did not involve being on a computer or online.
I truly thank my close friends for noticing my silent retreat, since it is very unlike me. Although I may pass up invitations to get out of the house during times like these, it is my true friends who understand and send me encouraging words, and even gently push me to get out of the house, to become my social self again.
So, hopefully this phase has passed or is at least subsiding, just in time for me to enjoy some last minute Halloween shenanigans, like a visit to the local pumpkin patch and the psychosis provoking haunts of Night Fright Productions at the Meridell Center in La Grande. And for when silence returns, I will know to just ride it out and enjoy some tasty brains.
During this time, I sought activities that were more considered as time fillers, just to ease my mind that I was doing something, anything, while my mind sorted out the puzzle of the unbearable road block it had all of a sudden encountered. There was a lot of inward searching: journal writing, doodling, crocheting to hours of silence. I even finished reading a novel, Brains: A Zombie Memoir. I can safely say that it has been well over a decade that I've read a book from cover to cover for pure entertainment. I then noticed, all of the things I was attracted to during this time did not involve being on a computer or online.
I truly thank my close friends for noticing my silent retreat, since it is very unlike me. Although I may pass up invitations to get out of the house during times like these, it is my true friends who understand and send me encouraging words, and even gently push me to get out of the house, to become my social self again.
So, hopefully this phase has passed or is at least subsiding, just in time for me to enjoy some last minute Halloween shenanigans, like a visit to the local pumpkin patch and the psychosis provoking haunts of Night Fright Productions at the Meridell Center in La Grande. And for when silence returns, I will know to just ride it out and enjoy some tasty brains.
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